just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize