I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
