I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.