what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
