When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize