Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
