five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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