Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
