you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
