My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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