You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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