used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy