I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis