so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes