Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.