I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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