Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
