do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
