I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize