Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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