Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
