her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
