Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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