can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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