I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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