champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
