Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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