...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize