I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night