I love black thongs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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