I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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