Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize