the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
