So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
