If i come over, it means nothing
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
