Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
