so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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