her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
