she looked like the before picture.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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