i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
