Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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