ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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