I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
