He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
