When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
