So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
