Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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