Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
