This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
