I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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