i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
