I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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