I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize