Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
