somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize