Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle. http://tfl.nu/bjh3
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (2986)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): alright she left, finally time to fart up the room http://tfl.nu/utm3
  Replies (17) Good night (3609) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

  (1-585): View more from New York

  oh god.. jail?

  (585): View more from New York

  better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning (1-585): oh god.. jail? (585): better, on the catwalk of the auditorium http://tfl.nu/ulvj
  Replies (22) Good night (8639) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step. http://tfl.nu/yq43
  Replies (14) Good night (5019) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Yeah, but four times?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it. (1-702): Yeah, but four times? http://tfl.nu/x8r7
  Replies (30) Good night (7199) Bad night (1887)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right. http://tfl.nu/8nul
  Replies (37) Good night (6032) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls http://tfl.nu/v5lo
  Replies (7) Good night (1865) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3738) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards http://tfl.nu/20k7
  Replies (11) Good night (2153) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time. http://tfl.nu/tzie
  Replies (5) Good night (2170) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (365): View more from

  James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (365): James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations. http://tfl.nu/tgs7
  Replies (9) Good night (2001) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month. http://tfl.nu/wxst
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me http://tfl.nu/p784
  Replies (14) Good night (1567) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry http://tfl.nu/q1qo
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand. http://tfl.nu/v7rz
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (295)

Randomize