Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING