hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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