i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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