chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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