girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
