the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize