so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize