I'd wear matching sweaters with you
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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