Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
