I think I just saw someone hide a body.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
